Believe me, I understand bankruptcy, its legal purpose, and implications. And, maybe, given your situation, it's your best option, and what you need to do to get yourself back on your feet. Was I surprised to learn you were going to file?--No. How did I feel about what you told me?--You couldn't even be honest with me, X. You can't even be real. That's the most disappointing thing. There's a point in life where the good guy, bad guy routine doesn't apply, and you own it yourself.

You've been relieved of the house debt by Y. Originally, the $8,000 loan--to help you start your business anew--was at 8%, but after you stopped making payments in '92 (after 15), I forgave that. Since then you have never initiated one conversation about this debt. I have always had to track you down--find out where you live, get your phone number--as if you were hiding from me. Why?--Because once you lost your ability to pay, you also seemed to have lost your intention to repay. You have never taken full responsibility for the moneys you borrowed.

I might've been impatient at times, but I've always given you the benefit of the doubt. The fact that you haven't paid me to date is one thing. The fact that you are choosing to write off the outstanding seven grand in the bankruptcy is another altogether. In your style and manner, there is nothing else for me to believe except that you are now not only hiding behind the bankruptcy but also relieving yourself of this responsibility forever. It's a beautiful, legal fuck you, I-don't-need-xxxxxxx xxxxxxxx anymore.

I've always supported you, rooted for you, and helped you--on many levels. And, maybe, "to a fault." I hope not. Or, maybe, you are hurting so much that you just can't see straight, and it's affecting you. I don't know, but I hope the latter.

What's most disturbing is that the moneys that passed from me to you were of a personal nature, and the fact that you feel no moral responsibility is a whole other matter--unexplored territory, if you will, this aspect of your life. You certainly could have chosen to include me in the bankruptcy, still felt a moral responsibility about it, told me why you included me, and still expressed your intention to repay it to me--sometime in your life....

I wish you would reconsider what you are doing, and in so doing find the conscience and the courage to see this for what it is, and your responsibility in it.

I truly hope that in your decision it will become self evident--and reflect the original feeling I had about you--and that, in the end, demonstrate that I did not make a misjudgement in character when I helped you.

Good luck, X, I wish you well with it.

Best,